Some quiet time at last. I've been quite busy over the past two days. On Friday I went to Deyi secondary to adjudicate the JG Debating Championships. I had just begun to watch what seemed like a promising debate between RI and SCGS, when Mark Gabriel came and told me Room 10 was missing a judge and he needed me there. So it was good in a sense that I went from being a shadow adjudicator to being a full one. Lots of other people got swapped around, I later learnt.

Then came the hard part. Room 10 was one of the C Division rooms. At secondary school debating level, teams are organised into A, B or C divisions. This is not based on age, as in sports, but rather on quality. So it was a pretty agonising evening for me having sit through three C div debates. It was pretty much like hearing two people adamantly restating their stands over and over again, taking no trouble at all to explain why the other side was wrong. If they did explain it was in one-liners. The first round was a clear win by the Prop, so that was easier to judge. But the next two rounds were extremely close, and that makes judging debates so difficult. It's worse when the arguments are bad. And also if you haven't eaten dinner. We had no time to eat because the round started at 6. By the third debate I was just wishing the whole thing to end.

But it was a good experience overall. No matter how painful it was, I found adjudicating to be quite fun. I'm looking forward to the next round. Hopefully I'll be judging a better division.

Yesterday I went to NUS early in the morning for the Singapore Forum on Politics. It was really long, but there were interesting speakers thankfully, who raised very provocative points. Like how Singapore cannot survive in the long run without political choice.

Well, Week 9 beckons. It's high time I try to catch up on my work. I either just can't find the time or energy to start...

BrokeBack Void Deck

I was shocked by the news delivered by our principal today. Firstly, the case of the intimidation of a couple of ACS(I) boys by J2s believed to come from SAS. I was just sitting through that announcement stunned, terribly ashamed of my alma mater. Yes, I have my own strong opinions about the AC family of schools but I think it's absolutely low-down and crass to have to resort to intimidation to scare someone off. What kind of image are these people projecting of the school?? The whole thing just backfires. Here you are trying to frighten two AC boys into submission, on the supposed grounds that you can't stand their school for various reasons, oblivious to the fact that that very act of intimidation speaks worse of your own school. Let inter-school rivalry remain on the rugby pitch, within examination halls, competitions, and the usual chit chat between friends. Threats of violence do no good to anyone.

Something is inherently wrong with the culture of SAS if it consistently produces such cases. I walk into Macs and I see hooligans. The street soccer court teems with unruly "Saints". Such bitter irony. I've always thought that the label "Saint" was a keen double-edged sword. Assuming such a noble title must require a certain level of decorum, the slightest failure of which stains that name. Maybe Saint is too good a title to confer on any student, regardless of institution.

If my alma mater makes me want to hide my face, my current school couldn't do worse. Two guys making out! In a HDB void deck! What unspeakable flames of passion and perverted lust must have compelled, nay, driven them to carry out such gross displays of affection in public. And I'm speaking with religious convictions aside. The thought of any couple, gay or straight, petting and kissing in public in their school uniforms is quite sickening, when looked from thr perspective of an outsider of the school.

And yet for all this, I still have a bond of loyalty to the school. But loyalty must come with a qualitative statement, like Mary. I cannot love the school. I can only love it, or be proud of it, in spite of all this. Such is the allure of the underdog. Saint Andrew's has always carried a rather romantic and tragic quality in my eyes. It has the collapsed grandeur of an institution that has fallen from greater glory onto hard times, since it once rivalled Raffles, long long ago. And this diminished stature adds greater glory to those moments in which the school rises to the occasion, when it manages to trounce its rivals. That, at least, is how I see the school. Ha, such idealistic notions of grandeur...

I'm going to adjudicate at the Julia Gabriel Debating Championships tomorrow! Or at least, to shadow adjudicate. It will be a paltry compensation, I think, for actual debating.

Who would fardels bear?

I want to go to King's College London! They have this lovely Lit course that works with the Globe Theatre! The Globe! And next month one of their professors is releasing the edition of Hamlet! I think we should just put Hamlet on hold and ask Mr Smith to move on to Macbeth first while we wait for the definitive version, haha. Argh... London is sooo tempting. But it's sooo expensive! 10 to 11000 POUNDS PER ANNUM. That works out to around 30 000 Sing dollars per year. And that's just the tuition fees. Living costs are around 8000 pounds. So if you do the math, studying in London for a three year course should run up to nearly 180 000 Sing dollars. NUS looks dismally dreary, small, local and unglamarous after today...

In other news, another member of the PAP Old Guard has died. I've edited out my following comment for fear of recrimination. The perils of living in Singapore...

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them.

This morning as I opened my devotional material to do quiet time I was struck by the verse given for the day's reading. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. I must have seen that verse a thousand times before, memorised it and quoted it here and there. But this morning it just struck me again as being so beautiful, so firm, so assuring, like an unshakeable Rock on which to build your life on. I think it ties in with what I've been thinking about since Sunday, when my pastor said, "Those who fear God have no need to fear anyone else." I've been either so people-centred or self-centred I've lost track of what should be my true and main focus. I need to come back to that.

I've come to the realisation that Block Test 1 is less than a month away and I'm terribly unprepared. I need to kick myself out of this lethargy and get back into studying full scale. I musn't make the mistake I made in my Sec 4 year, when I lazed away and allowed my complacency to get a hold of me. I have a problem. Whenever I do well in something, or relatively well in something, I always rest on my laurels. And that allowed so many people to overtake me in studies in Sec 4. I can't let that happen again this time round. I can convince and reassure myself that I wasn't doing the right subjects back in secondary school, that I simply wasn't suited to maths and the sciences, and therefore my lacklustre grades were due to that. I can do that. I have done that. But I know also that my laziness and inability to kick myself into action accounted for part of the results too. Well, I can't kid myself any longer. I am now in the Arts Faculty, doing the subjects I've always loved. I can't blame anything or anyone but myself if I fail to deliver the grades at the A Levels. Goals and expectations must be realistic, yes, and I don't think I'll be terribly disappointed if i don't get straight As, provided I know I did my best. And therein lies the crunch, you see. Provided I know I did my best. I don't want to walk away from the A Levels feeling like I did after I got my O Level results, that feeling that I could have done better in such and such a subject if only I worked harder.

Whew, that's a lot of rhetoric coming out of me just before BT1. And it's only BT1 if you think about it. What would I say come prelims? And...I don't know if I can live up to my own expectations. I will just pray that God will give me the discipline to buckle down to my books. And who am I studying for anyway? I've seen many people counsel students to study for themselves. "Don't study for your parents or teachers. Think of it as though you're studying for your future." But aren't we supposed to study for God's glory? Jayce once made an interesting comment in cell. She said that even if she did well for a test, she wouldn't feel satisfied if she knew that she hadn't studied for it for God's glory. I confess that I cannot say the same. When I say I'm going to study for God's glory it's a euphemistic way of saying I'm going to study real hard, banking on my own strength, and if I do well and it happens to reflect well on God, whoopy day. When I get back good grades all too often my mind doesn't immediately thank God, until much later. It's often concerned with, who did I beat? How did I do it? Good job, Joel, for doing so well, give yourself a pat on the back...

I feel like such a hypocrite. I suppose studying for God means even when you're feeling down and tired, like you simply can't go on, you look up and see that what you're doing is all worthwhile when you realise that you have pleased the One you were created to please. CS Lewis put it so eloquently when he said that Heaven is when the redeemed soul learns, beyond all hope and beyond all belief, that she has finally managed to please Him whom she was created to please.

I'm so tired. It's been a long day. And each time I'm tired or irritated I snap at people very easily. Something else to work on...

Anyway, to end this post, I found Jael's name in the Bible and learnt that her namesake was the woman who drove a tent-peg through the forehead of an enemy general who was attacking the Israelites. Such vicious women we have in class...

Vicks: Circumlocution! What a wonderful word! But I think to have said "pride" directly would have been a severe leap in logic. And it wouldn't have allowed me to express my true thoughts. Circumlocution! Such marvelous words you come up with. I love the word "verbose". It sounds so verbal, haha. And circumlocution sounds like a locomotive going round a circumference.

I read someone's blog and realised how much Valentine's Day meant to some people. And I haven't blogged about it either. Nothing much to say, just that I'm glad the DJ booth in the caf is finally gone and the loud music has ceased. One good thing about Friendship Week was the conspicuous absence of J1s for the first half of the week. It was nice to have the caf all to ourselves. Quiet, empty, spacious. I think the school should just let all of them go home till their posting results are released. No sense in them taking up space for these two weeks.

Haha, I think I sound like a J1 hater. But there are some nice ones among them, and I'm glad so many of my cell members are joining the school. So now Elohim's presence in school will grow to about nine or ten people. Good good. Nice seeing friendly faces from church around.

I'm quite glad the weekend is here. But tomorrow I still have to do CIP work in the morning.... And, I think I seriously need to catch up on my econs. To my horror the latest topic is surprisingly mathematical, what with formulas and algebra... And the whole thing seems one unmanageable chunk. Time to chip away at the mountain.


You have chosen the Evening; but my love is given to the Morning. And my heart forebodes that soon it will pass away forever.

There is something within human nature that innately connects with the underdog. We all root for it, hope that it succeeds against all odds. Witness how most of the bestselling movies or books often revolve around underdogs and their rags-to-riches stories. Somehow, we feel bonded with the perceived "loser". Perhaps a brief glimpse of inner insecurity?

I found a strange clash of emotions within me today as I looked at the students from my alma mater. I must admit that many a time I have felt ashamed by them. I've wished the school produced more A1s and less gangsters. And yet, I cannot forsake it, nor can I stop feeling a sense of pride of having come from there, or whenever a victory is announced. When I moved into the JC, this strange mixture of pride and underdoggedness continued. I suppose the feeling of pride I get whenever we stand up to the so-called elite schools stems from this desire to be the best, or the knowledge that somehow, we can beat the best. Perhaps society has so honed into me this sense of egalitarianism that I cannot help but sneer at the elite. There is somewhat of the socialist within me. Equality should be the proper way of life.

And yet, when I look again, I also acknowledge the pleasure gained from looking down on others. The concept of an egalitarian, meritocratic society is perhaps an oxymoron. So all at once I desire to be the elite, and yet disdain the elite.

I think the conclusion of the whole matter is pride. And you know what, I think that whole chunk of round-about thinking above was just a complicated way of looking at a rather straightforward matter from the beginning. Sheesh.


Adri: Hi! When you come back, you should sit in and watch us give you the most organised prep time you've ever seen from our team, haha.

Owen: Ha, forced into retirement. That's a nice way of putting it. They didn't give us any golden handshake though.

These are the days of slumber

I was thinking as I went home: If the world was perfect, and all we ever knew was beauty, would we still call it beauty? Does beauty require some knowledge of ugliness to be beautiful? No doubt beauty in itself is absolute and good, since ugliness is but distorted beauty, but would we recognise beauty, having never known the other side? Questions to think about.

The whole day seemed to revolve around hard questions. From the opening debate in the morning over a source-based question on history, to the mind numbing lecture in econs in the afternoon, everything seemed to test our patience and strectch our brains. Or at least mine. I was exhausted by the end of the econs lecture, which was absolutely dreadful. We had a mind-boggling discussion about GP in the discussion room in the library, then another round of analysis into the nuances of a dark and morbid poem in lit. It's enough to make me sleep.

I don't know why, but I've been feeling so sleepy these few days. I've never known myself to feel sleepy during lectures or tutorials so frequently. I practically fell asleep in front of Mr Smith on Monday, haha. Anyway, I think a good afternoon nap today will refresh me for the evening, and hopefully tomorrow.

Swansong

Two days ago, on the 11th of February 2006, my debating career at JC level officially came to an end. We never made it past the preliminary rounds of the NUS Challenge Shields. We won one out of three, and lost the other two by a very small margin of about one point. SA never seems to win in split decisions.

I guess one never knows how much something means to you until it's gone. A few weeks ago I was complaining about the workload and about how debating didn't seem so fun anymore. I was wrong. I relished every single moment spent on the floor on Saturday. If I can take one thing away from the challenge shields, it is this: the knowledge that we gave it our best, and that each of the three rounds was a good, solid debate. The very fact that they were close debates testifies to the defence we put up. We ARE on par with the very best. Did we not show that last year during the national championships? And this precisely makes defeat so bitter: Knowing that you are just as good as your opponents, and seeing victory slip away only because of technicalities.

It is an established fact that debating is a subjective sport. Every debate is a circle, a balance of finely weighed arguments. Even as this phase of my life dies down another begins. Now I will move on to another level: adjudicating debates. That may prove potentially tortuous.



Sometimes when I have a free moment I stop to think about certain things that stir up within me anger and impatience. And I wonder then if it is all worth it. Of all the things in the world to get angry at.

I wish I could just let go and release my cares and anger more freely.

Happy Birthday Dai Wei! oh, he doesn't read my blog anyway... But who cares... I'll tell him soon then.

We celebrated Dai Wei's birthday at Fish n Co. last night. There was an in-house singer and we dedicated a birthday song to him, haha. It was a good way to end the day, especially since yesterday was really long. While everyone else went for various history makeups I was debating with HCI. Messy, close debate. Now we know how to attack a prop's policy case better. Oh well, I'll keep my fingers crossed till Saturday.

I feel tired. I realised during Econs lecture today that I needed to start revising my econs again. Haven't been reading the notes.

I've been reminded recently of what I went through last year, and I'm thankful that God saw and brought me through it. What's more, much good came out of it. Humans have terrible memories. To think God can repeatedly bring you through various trials and tribulations, only to have us waver and shirk back the minute another problem pops up. I wonder how many countless times I've been guilty of that. How great is the patience of God!

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

We had our first s paper training session today. Mr Smith, that inimitable patron of speech, was almost sleep-inducing. But not quite. He provoked some interesting thoughts. I think s paper training is going to be rather interesting. The questions are so broad and general that they require lots of higher order thinking skills, and I quite relish the challenge. This is me now. Give me a month and I'll probably be on my knees crawling about, crying for sleep and release from work. I'll really have to pray for perserverance and strength.

At least the texts are, well, texts. I think as I do more and more Lit, I begin to appreciate the subject more. I cannot possibly imagine myself doing a science course now. How could I even have contemplated it in the beginning? Biology was my favourite science subject, and that was only because all I had to do was to regurgitate notes. I can't do that now, not with any subject. And frankly, I much prefer this sort of thinking.

I realised today that that famous quote, "frailty, thy name is woman", came from Hamlet! Interesting stuff. Our latest lit text also seems intriguing thus far. At last, a return to prose, after a year of poetry.

Ha, I wonder why I'm feeling so literary now. Should go continue reading Hamlet, or Silas Marner. Oh, maybe Top Girls! Now that's a provocative text...

I need to go immerse myself in some good fiction book again. Something that might recapture my imagination for a while, and send me fleeing through wild and dangerous landscapes, battling with monstrous beasts, riding free over green fields. A pity most fantasy fiction is trash.

Solitude is not necessarily loneliness. That was something John brought to my attention recently. Perhaps I should seek solitude sometime soon.

Letting go

I had a terrible morning fretting over spars. I mixed up our spar dates with HCI, and I went completely crazed with worry over arrangements made in advance. Then I realised the actual spar date clashes with History makeup. But that can be easily resolved...

You know what, I'm beginning to accept that I'm neurotic. Now I sound like one of those silly urban Americans who spend half their time visiting their shrinks. I can't help it. I'm a control freak, and when things get out of my control, I can't stop obsessing over them. So I guess my neurosis stems from a controlling nature. I guess I need to learn how to let go. What an outcome. That's a day's work of psychoanalysis done...

Some people find it so amusing when I roll my eyes. I wonder when I learned to. I don't think it's a good habit. Reeks of bitchiness. Oh, but it does help to make a point, visually.

I just realised why I feel so comfortable writing. That's when I'm in full control over what I say. My thoughts can be crafted to fit the occassion as I want them to, without outside interference. I guess writing, and in this case blogging, is a kind of stress reliever. How funny.

I have no idea how the rest of the day is going to turn out. I'm going to pray and trust God. I was reminded today that worry is a sin. Most people don't realise that, but essentially worry means you don't trust God. That's food for thought, because in my case I worry very frequently.

It seems as though I'll never see my tagboard again. You may be able to see it, but I can't. So this is an appeal to everyone: PLEASE COMMENT THROUGH THE COMMENTS PAGE. DON'T USE THE TAGBOARD TILL FURTHER NOTICE.

If I have time, a precious commodity, I will try and fix this problem.

End of the week coming. Tomorrow will be a hectic mad rush going here and there for training. Some people think its funny using the word training for debates. I suppose it connotes images of sports people in action. My sport involves the jaw muscles, vocal cords, and brain power.

We had a good time after school today talking in macs. Mr Yoong made a last minute cancellation of this history lecture! Dreams are made of these, and lo, our little life is rounded with a sleep. And so, I leave you.

Chinese New Year

Thus are the first three days of the Chinese New Year ended, and with them gone the harsh reality of school life beckons again. But before we return to that, I will reflect on the days gone by.

CNY has always been, for as long as I can remember, a time of awkwardness while visiting relatives, especially on my father's side. I've always been closer to my cousins on my mother's side. Somehow, the inverse seems true this year. It's odd when I consider the previous situation, because I spent a great deal of my childhood in my paternal grandmother's house. I should be closer to my cousins there, but I wasn't. I put it down to the language barrier, and perhaps also religious differences. I can recall a time when I was close to them, but then as I grew older I drifted away. My inability to speak Chinese, whereas they were fluent in both that and Hokkien, influenced my relationship with my cousins greatly. CNY became a time of polite gestures and greetings, but not much talk.

Now we are older. My two oldest cousins have stable girlfriends. One is due to marry by the year's end. My oldest female cousin just got a makeover. For the first time in my life I saw her with makeup. Another sign of changing times. Somehow this year over steamboat and other things I managed to reconnect with my cousins. We talked and laughed and joked. They are quite a fun bunch actually. The male lineage has always been strong in the Lian clan. My late grandmother gave birth to six sons, not a single daughter. Today most of her grandchildren are male. I suppose that helps in forging bonds. Our age gaps aren't that wide either.

The situation on my mother's side is different this year. It started a few years ago. Somehow I drifted away from my younger cousins, with whom I was once very chummy. Age difference probably. Then my older cousin entered the army, and his course in life is very different from mine. Suddenly CNY there has become another round of polite gestures and greetings.

That being said, this CNY has been fairly enjoyable so far. It's always been a time of mirth and merrymaking, and I've lost myself in food over the past few days. It was good, while it lasted.

Now school will begin anew. I pray for strength and perserverance. Things are really getting on my nerves. Day by day, I pray for patience and Christ-centredness.

I CANNOT STAND THIS!!!!! My computer is infested with spyware that mcafee can't do nuts about, and its corrupted about two of the system files. I'm going to wage war on this malignant and repulsive threat to home computer security. I shall reformat my computer. Soon. When i have sufficient time. I'll back up the files tonight.

I'm sorry if I can't reply to your tags, cos though you can see the tagboard, I can't, or at least, only partially. I can see the tags, but I myself can't tag. I can't even see some other people's tagboards.

I'm high strung, stressed out by school work and CCA commitments, and now I have to come home and deal with this nonsense. It's a complete waste of my time. But at least it's not as bad as the last time I reformatted my com. Ah well.

Tomorrow is cross country day. Strange as it sounds coming from me, I somehow suddenly look forward to it. Maybe it will be a good chance to destress. Oh it's intolerable. My peace is always marred. It's like I spend a few moments enjoying something, only to remember I have some work or commitment somewhere to attend to.

I enjoyed today's GP lesson. It gave me much food for thought. Are we all products then?

You know, debating is getting tiring, and it's a strain on my time. I love it, but ahh, sometimes, it just gets on my nerves...

I shall spend tomorrow singing in the trees

My tagbox has disappeared! Why am I so unfortunate with technology? It makes no sense, because I haven't edited my template. Maybe it's a temporary glitch. I'll wait and see. In the meantime, feel free to comment on the comments page.

It's been a whole week since I blogged. Quite an eventful week, full of stress and excitement. Excitement = stress?

Anyway, just to update, I got the Lit S paper. So, more work for me. I don't know how I'm going to finish four Shakespearean texts in a term and a half, but I'll do it with God's grace. I mean, if He allowed me to get the S paper, I'm going to trust He can see me safely through this year, intact.

We reviewed the new J1s this week for debating. I'm going to give a cautious nod of approval at some of their potential, but because I haven't seen most of them I can't say anything much beyond that. They have shown skills we didn't expect, considering how most, or all, of them have practically no debating experience.

I attended the Annual Conference of Feedback Groups yesterday. It was quite an eye opener for me, because I never realised there were so many angry people in Singapore. One after another they swamped the dialogue session with angry questions and complaints, pressurising the poor committees, who repeatedly stressed that they were just volunteers. And then when the Health Minister arrived, they questioned him all the same. Really interesting day. The food was good though! I liked the prawns.

We bumped into Sheryl and Andrew after the conference, or rather Sheryl saw us then appeared before me. What a pleasant surprise. The last time I saw Andrew was during orientation. He has this lovely stubble that I wish I could have. Some people have the ability to carry off stubble well, for example, as much as I hate to say it, Bryan. I can't. My hair just come out of my chin in a mish mash of directions, and it's too sparse. I think it has something to do with the scar on my chin. When I was much younger I banged my chin real hard on the sales counter of the Cold Storage supermarket in Ngee Ann City. It was a rather bloody experience. I was rushed off to Mount Elizabeth Hospital where I vividly recalled being operated on while conscious. The doctor applied anaesthetic to my chine and sewed it up, at the same time managing to make friendly conversation with me. I think my mother was pale with worry.

So anyway, because of that, I now have a scar on my chin, and I think it's obstructing the full growth of my stubble.

Ha, it was nice seeing Andrew and Sheryl walk off. They look quite good together, like a pleasant picture of marital bliss. Oops, forgive me, I meant, um, relational bliss. And then later, when Beni pointed out Secret Recipe and said what memories that place held, it felt like I had come slightly full circle, if there is such a phrase. Oh well, oh well.

Lots of homework to do.

Sensitivity

Last night I gave my brother a lecture. Not a scolding, but a lecture, the sort of thing our teachers do. It just came impromptu.

In my family, I observe many things. They may not know it, but I spend a lot of the time observing the happy moments, the conflicts, gestures, tone, language, etc. Sometimes things slip my mind, but when something crops up, as they often do time and time again, I always try and observe.

From this, I've learnt something of human relations. Relationships are a finely balanced set of equations. They can be upset very easily by the slightest variation. Great care and sensitivity are often required when dealing with humans. Some are more sensitive than others. Some are more numb, or maybe they've just grown used to life. Some can put up a great show of strength when it's so obvious how fragile they are. Whatever it is, people are sensitive beings, and the heart is beats so, so tenderly. No one can hurt you more than the ones you love.

Those are some of the results of my observations of the people around me in general. Many times I've wanted to speak out, share my deeper thoughts, but it can be so difficult to tell those you love. Or maybe it's just me.

Me. A few days ago I began to wonder if I was not slightly neurotic. I don't know when this developed exactly, but I have some inkling of how it developed. A gradual process. Now I find it hard to relax, even in peaceful moments. And so many times, it takes so little to affect me. I don't know why because I don't recall ever being this... sensitive shall we say...when I was younger. Your slightest gesture, or tone, affects me. I read volumes into simple conversations, even online or sms. And sometimes, if I don't catch myself, I try reading into the most nonsensical things. I think it may be a bad habit developing. Sensitivity is fine, but when it becomes neurosis, it can take a toll on you.

I told my brother this, "Whenever you want to say something, or do something, always stop and think of how you would feel if the other person did what you are going to do to you." It's really commonsensical isn't it? Cliched even. Everyone knows that, we just forget it. More often than not, we need to be reminded more than instructed.

Setting an example can be so hard. In his best, or better moments, my brother can be so loveable. In his worst, or worser moments, which come very very often, I wish I had another brother. But I have to learn, I guess, to accept him, warts and all. And who am I to judge, when so many times I've failed in my duty as a brother, much less the older one? Setting an example can be so hard.

My opinion of Nelson improved after our training session at NUS today. And I quite like the look of policy debating. It sounds fun, but it looks like a lot of hard work too. Sigh, more research to be done.

When I was younger if I thought something was cute I said so. Today as I came home I thought to myself: Now if I think something is cute I find myself wondering, why exactly do I find it cute?

Lovely, the rain stopped today, although the sudden increase in temperature was slightly discomforting. I think I'd gotten used to the coldness.

The long awaited weekend is finally here. I finished my s paper selection test yesterday. It wasn't as intimidating as I thought it was, and I thank God it's over. At least that's one burden off my mind.

Oh, and I got into the gp differentiated program. I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but oh well, here goes nothing. It is something to be one of only 16 people to qualify for the program out of the whole cohort. And not a single Science student. Which is puzzling, because I know people in there who did well for gp, but whom their teachers didn't nominate.

Tomorrow I will be going for a briefing on the NUS Debates Challenge Shields. I've already met my new coach, but I don't think it would be particularly diplomatic to post my stronger opinions of him here. He's...very different from Adrienne. More...shall we say...slow paced? I have a feeling that I might find it slightly difficult to adjust to him. But we'll play it by the ear.

I begin to worry about Vicki's sanity. At first I thought she was just crazy in a playful manner, but recent developments have led me to question the true stability of her mind. No sane person runs into the classroom and bangs her hands on the wall and runs out again. She is, as Bryan so eloquently put it, "the epitome of siao". But, ah, what would our days be without her? Duller than a great thaw, to quote from Benedick.

As always, grist for the mill, grist for the mill.

I wish I could sleep and destress.

I have econs to do, an s paper selection test to study for, and MUN reports to write. And I wish I could sleep away the time. The weather isn't helping.

Some funny moments of the day to cheer me up. Vicks asking, pleading, then whimpering for tissue in the caf. "Tissue (ten seconds later), tissue..." Benita's realisation of the familial connection between the Lees. Mrs Ram's pun, "Whatever happened last year is history."

When the world is so grey, your heart tends to sag. Ok that made me laugh. What a silly word to use!

I have acquired the Memoirs of Harry. Right now the most popular and well known memoirs on the market are those of a geisha, but unfortunately I'm not reading those. I have decided to delve into the personal life of Harry. Harry, of all the names in the world, but Harry nevertheless. Harry and Geok Chu, such a delightful coupling of words. Much as I'd hate to say it, his memoirs are actually fairly interesting.

I feel like drifting off to sleep. So random.

My beginning, my forever.

Everyday

I'm back home, all nice and comfy in my room. I had a sudden bout of sneezing just now. This weather is perfect for snuggling up in bed and not waking up till tomorrow. In fact, to do that would not be too bad an idea.

Rain. Now I don't mind rain now and then, but when it rains everyday, and the whole day, then it gets really irritating. We're like just trudging through the wind and rain and mud everyday. A slow crawl. I wonder if this is some kind of visual metaphor for the year.

I like rationalisation. I think it helps a lot in sorting certain things out, provided I have enough time to think it through. And when I'm done, the issue seems less pressing, less troubling, for a while. Most of the time, I simply don't have time to think. And I react too quickly, or badly. Surrender is so difficult when you have so many things piling up against you. Or perhaps I should put it the other way. Is it not easier to let go when you finally realise you can't cope? We are rebels in arms.

It's the second week of school, and things are already so messy. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, getting involved in MUN, and S Paper, and now this differentiated program. I really don't mind if I don't qualify for the S Paper, but what if I do? Will I have enough motivation, willpower, strength even, to see it through? And then there's debates. Such a headache. Having a title is nice, but really, sometimes I wish I didn't, that I didn't have to bother so much. And why do little things bother me so much?

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

The first two days of school.

I didn't get the chance to update yesterday so I'll blog now.

The first day of school was fairly easy going. Nothing much to do, just walking around, exploring the new campus, chit chatting. But, our first Moment of 2006 has arrived. It was History Tutorial, and Mr Yoong had just asked Samantha, "What were America's goals for going into Greece and Turkey?" To which Samantha declared, "World peace."

Priceless moment, truly priceless.

We've had a couple more silly random moments here and there, like when Benita said the mama shops in the area were very mama, or like today, when Vicks was trying to describe this snack to us known to her as Bee Bee (but which she pronounced as "bibi"). And fancy calling Mamee snack noodles "Mamee Mee"...

Random and crazy, that's my two days in school. Somehow I feel that the class has cooled down a lot, like we are more cordial to each other. Maybe things are getting better.

But the pressure is already heating up. I have a competition next month and we'll be training twice weekly. Then there's MUN coming up, as well as this GP accelerated program. If the accelerated program means extra work then I might not want to go for it, even if I get in. I personally prefer Ms Soh's class, if only for the lesser amount of work.

My computer is lagging, and I don't know why. I don't detect a virus attack or spyware, and I'd really hate it if it was spyware, cos then I might have to clean out the whole thing. The pitfalls of technology...

'Twas the night before school

So, it's once again the dawn of a new year, and with that comes the inevitable opening of the new school term. Standing here on the brink of another adventure, I pray I'll make it through all right, and hopefully better than before. Adventure does not necessarily mean a good thing. Lester asked me if I was excited about going back to school. Yes, I am, but excitement is just an anticipatory emotion. It can be either bad or good, and in this case, it means bad. Perhaps a better word to describe my feelings now would be apprehension, or nervous anticipation. It can't be a very good sign to open the school year with PE. But then again, I guess that's just a sign of things to come. Let's just say I'm not particularly looking forward to the end of this year.

I've begun to feel as though every moment is precious to me. I wish I could hold on to them, but time just slips past me, even as I wish it would stop. I want everything to stop, and allow me to enjoy my last few moments of peace, snatches of which I experienced today, and yesterday. This is like the deep breath before the plunge. And even as I plunge, I want every moment of it to last longer, move slower. It's like I'm clinging on to some board, slowly, or quickly, being sucked down into some unimaginable abyss.

I pray I can let go and trust God.

For I am convinced that nothing can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Musa: I'm NOT a babe. And even with you around, it may not be tt much of a blast I'm afraid. More like an agonising crawl through the mud.

Vicks: Nope, you've got to do better to have an entire list devoted to you. There are plenty of other contenders.

Christmas is five days past, but yesterday I felt a little Christmas spirit return. Without doubt, Joyeux Noel, or Merry Christmas in English, is one of the best films I've watched this year. It's a lovely, touching show set in World War 1. A little odd, yes, for a Christmas movie, but it's based on a true story, of how on Christmas Eve in 1914, several stretches along the French-German Front were at peace because the opposing soldiers held unofficial ceasefires. The movie simplifies this by focusing on one location of the truce. Parts of the film seem a little exaggerated and frankly, cheesy, but its overall effect leaves one with a sense of sentimentality and hope. And hey, I'm a sucker for world war films that are shot in German or French.

When I was in SAV on Wednesday, I realised that I didn't want to go back to school after all. That may sound strange to many school-hating people out there, but initially I was actually looking forward slightly to school because the holidays were getting rather dull and long. Truth be told, this seems to me to have been the longest stretch of holidaying I've ever had. All the past year-end breaks in secondary or primary school seemed too short. This one seemed almost too long. Now, it's not long enough.

I guess it was looking around at all the people present, people whom I am going to face next year, that made me realise my reluctance. I don't want to meet everybody again. Even the people I don't personally know. Maybe the best way to describe how I feel would be: I don't want to be immersed in the lifestyle and culture of school again. It would be lovely if I could just study with the people I like and hang out with, and if the whole campus belonged to just the few of us. Strangely, this isolationist sentiment just reminded me of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. In fact, wouldn't it be great to walk down Orchard Road one day and find the streets deserted, and having the whole place to yourself? Ok, now I'm sounding morbid.

Work does not create satisfaction.

So I visited the new campus yesterday. I couldn't recognise my old secondary school anymore. It's gone. Gone! And now the whole place feels so cramped. Like a bunch of HDB blocks all lumped together.

It was only yesterday that I realised that every school building I've studied in is now either gone or changed beyond recognition. My secondary school is now my JC. My primatry school has been remodelled, but it's still at the same location. My secondary school now has a new campus. The only building that remains relatively unchanged is the old school building up on Woodsville, now called the Diocese Centre. Now that building brings back memories, although they lie so far back in time they've gotten rather vague and sepia-toned in my mind.

Then after finishing our grand tour of the school we left for lunch. Almost. Just as we passed through the MRT gates Vicks realised she hadn't brought along her EZLink card. So, Dai Wei and I waited. And waited. And waited. I never realised one could lose track of time within Potong Pasir station. But there you have it. We did. I'm sorry Vicks, but your escapades just make such good material for blogging.

My day ended with a Sec 4 class reunion. Jason came back to Singapore 5 minutes before Christmas, which incidentally also happens to be his birthday. But he's leaving again so soon: this Saturday. Well, it was good to see him anyway. He doesn't seem to have changed much apart from his hair. Maybe, if I have enough time and money, I'll go visit him at the end of next year.

Things are getting very disturbing in the Tan household. Yes, I found it more disturbing than amusing, I don't know why. It was nearly enough to give me goosebumps last night. America, ohh America, such beguiling charms you have... But you shall never invade Cuba!

A day of rest

Today was a lazy day. My family just whiled away the time relaxing after the hectic celebrations of Christmas. Thanks, Kelly, for the brownies. They were delicious as always.

At around 5 today we left the house to go out to Seletar reservoir for a walk in the park. It's been awhile since I have been able to just walk about in some park peacefully, without a care in the world, almost. In those few hours I just refused to let any worries cloud my mind.

Then we left the reservoir to make a drive towards Sembawang Park, next to the sea. Along the way we passed by great open spaces, all rarities in Singapore, that seemed so lush, green and empty. It was like we had passed out of Singapore to a greener and fresher country. Then all of a sudden we drove past this field that was dotted with brown skeletons of trees, all of them leafless. It struck me deeply because I was reminded of the German countryside in winter as one crosses the border into Switzerland. And in that moment I yearned to be abroad, back somewhere in Europe, preferably that German countryside. That field, and following that, all the surrounding landscape, seemed so foreign. For the rest of the journey I sat wondering at how suddenly Singapore didn't seem local anymore, and that even as I reached home, somehow the place didn't seem that familiar.

And I remembered that, of course, we are all wayfarers, passing through a land that is not home.

Born that man no more may die

Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
Luke 2:10-11

To everyone, have a Joyous Christmas.

Of uncles and burnt fingers

Yesterday, I burnt my fingers while trying to light Jeremy's birthday cake. I'm not going to say anything more about it. Happy Early Birthday Jeremy. Hope you enjoyed Kong. Great show.

Then afterwards I met Quek and KH and we practically whiled away the afternoon crapping nonsense and playing 15 minute intervals of STAR WARS: REPUBLIC COMMANDOS (cue Star Wars opening music), and QUAKE 4. I think the old urge to get games for Christmas resurfaced shortly within me.

Then KH was off. Hope you have fun on Monday! Did you know, that his class is actually coming to his house on Boxing Day for potluck? Even though "class" meaning around 12 people, I still find that a remarkable feat. I mean, getting 12 people in my class to sit at the same table in the canteen would be a good showing for us, haha. Anyway, don't get drunk on Monday, KH. We don't want too many people in your class to know about America! America! Am I not good enough for you, America?!

Then to round off my day was a most peculiar experience. To tell you the truth, yesterday was a really random day. I ended up in Toa Payoh Central with Quek, helping him shop for, among other things, a mini fan and sponges. He was buying stuff for some needy people gift list, and the items listed were hilarious in terms of having two 17 year old guys buy them. I have this lovely picture of Jeremy squatting in the Household section of Cold Storage squinting at washing detergents. Washing detergents. Then you have to wonder, do they want machine wash detergents or for hand wash?? We both never felt more inadequate and retarded before. I mean, yeah, we both look like uncles, but now we are uncles. You see, there's this complex in Toa Payoh Central that houses Courts on its first three floors and Cold Storage in the basement. It seemed to me to be like the ultimate shopping expeeience, and now, the both of us have experienced the complete family shopping experience. From Cold Storage to Courts.

At Courts we got this mini fan which was really cheap, like $20. I looked at it and went, "ok, we'll take this one." After saying that line I promptly turned away in disgust at actually having said that. I just ordered a mini fan! I'm an uncle! But later on I realised that the fan looked pretty impressive in its packaging cos it came in a large box. I was thinking how impressive that would be if I wrapped up the box nicely and gave it to people for Christmas gifts.

In any case, we rounded up the complete family shopping experience with coffee and tea at Yakun's.

Vicks was saying yesterday that i should compile a list of Moments of 2005. So here's a short list of them:

1) Vicks falling down the stairs, getting up, and falling down again.

2) Vicks tripping over something (not in school) and messaging me a detailed description of her experience. Here's the SMS in full: "Damn, I just tripped over a kerb, ran towards the ground and crashed onto the ground. Now I have a scraped side of knee, palm and a bit of bleeding elbow."

3) Jeremy saying in response to someone's laughter, "That's freakin' gay". (must be said with great passion and energy)

4)Mr Yoong to Lester, "HURRY UP!" (said with a force strong enough to wake Dai Wei and Jeremy up from their post-PE stupor)

5) Mr Yoong to Hanis, "Where is General Kassem from?" (said with a slow, ominous tone of voice tinged with rumblings of the wrath of God)

6) Mr Yoong about Lester, "He's halfway there." (this comment was not related to Moment 4)

7) Mrs Ram and her terrorist joke. To cripple Singapore one should bomb Shenton Way, not Changi Airport, although in my opinion bombing Changi would be enough to cripple our economy substantially.

8) Mr Smith about Vicki Yong, "She's a figment of my imagination."

9) Mr Smith's post Lit promos speech, "Just a reminder that 05A22 must see their CT in the Geography room, and all the Lit reps see me!" (half-sung, half-spoken)

10) Mrs Tan calling me, "Joe-wel..."

11) Samantha calling Jeremy, "Jerrmms...."

Those are all the Moments I can think of for now. If any of you can think of more feel free to contribute :)

Two Days to Christmas

Two days to Christmas and the skies are remarkably gloomy. It's been rainy and downcast these few days. In fact, walking along Orchard Road at night with the Christmas lights lit up and the rain drizzling down reminded me of Paris in winter. All that was needed was for the temperature to be lowered about 20 degrees or so.

I watched King Kong on Wednesday and Narnia yesterday. Two big budget films back to back. After so long, it's nice being able to walk out of the cinema feeling you've watched a good film. Kong is, without doubt, the biggest movie of the year, in all respects. Expansive, visually stunning, pulse-racingly exciting, it bears all the trademarks of Peter Jackson. Once more, the kiwi has done it again. In fact, I think Kong himself acts better than some of the actors. I actually heard someone crying rather loudly in the theatre as the ape fell off the building. That was a lovely scene. Intimate, tender, and epic at the same time.

Narnia, in comparison, wasn't that great. The film's pacing is rather irregular, and the intercutting of the scenes feels stilted and slightly jerky. Nevertheless it's a fairly good movie, with appropriately touching scenes. In my opinion the jerkiness of the story has more to do with how the book is structured than with the editing. Lewis wrote it in such away as to warrant Tolkien's comment that it was a "hodgepodge of images", and I agree with that judgement. It became more obvious to me after watching the movie. But Lewis' strength lay in the intimacy of his words and scenes. The flowing of one chapter to another was painted in flowing sweeps of language that managed to bind the story together as a closely-knitted whole. The movie, in trying to make a picture out of his words, suffers from the hodgepodge syndrome. Still, it makes for good family entertainment. I definitely recommend it for a viewing.

I've been feeling so sleepy... This is good weather for curling up in bed...


Vicks: Oh seriously, vicki, could you not tell the sarcasm of that statement? In any case, it really was a rather eye-catching outfit.

Benita: Yes, that sounds pathetic. And I feel used.... hahaha. Aiya, try to do up some of the econs yourself first lah. You're better at it than me anyway :)

Musa: Musa... sighhhh....

I can't believe I made it through those four days, but I did, so here I am, back home from camp. It was...a tremendous experience, tremendous not neccessarily meaning good, but nonetheless tremendous. I have been suffering from indigestion for the past two days, and indeed am still struggling with the urge to throw up my food right now. Camp food must not agree with my stomach. Or maybe it was because I got caught in a heavy downpour and subsequently endured a cold shower. In either case I threw up twice during the camp. Tremendous.

I'm physically and mentally exhausted. We did a High Elements rope course, meaning the kind of stuff you do at an Outward Bound course, walking on ropes suspended several metres in the air, that sort of thing. Those werent so bad, because they were actually fun to do. They just tire you out. The problem was the ground stations, because there was one game in which we had to stuff all our group members through a car tyre to get to the other side. Continuously carrying people in excess of 65 kg can strain the hand greatly. My left hand is still sore...

But the sessions were great. The guest speaker was seriously funny, and very random. I mean he was saying things like, just because you're born in an airport doesn't mean you're an aeroplane right? haha, but he made sense. In part it's probably because he's my kind of preacher, the thinking, more logical type. I guess some things did hit home.

Christmas is coming! In less than a week the youth congregation will be having its first service in SAV on 25 December! Which also means the year is ending and school is beginning. This could mean a period of despondency for many people in view of the pile of untouched homework, or it could mean hope. I'd choose hope. That is the message of Christmas after all.


Quek: hmm... crazed intoxication... are you referring to materialism? and what time are you talking about?

Musa: Nooo, I don't think I'm about to go camping again any time soon... And if you know me, you should know my idea of fun does not involve dirt and mud.

Vickland: Yup, but you know what, I agree with a few people who wrote into the ST about our service. The way to improve our service is for customers to reciprocate their thanks to those in the service line.

Mein Kampf

Whee, I've been going around shopping the past two days with my mom. I've got a new shirt, a new bag, a new pair of glasses, and a new pair of track pants. The pants are purely for functional uses. I've got a youth camp coming up in which I'll have to use them. I'd rather not have them, really...

And I've been eating. Yesterday we ate at the Island Cafe at CK Tangs. I tried their signature laksa with crayfish dish. It wasn't really fantastic. The service was worse. They were sufficiently congenial, but a tad too partial. Next to us was this table where two caucasians were eating with their Singaporean counterparts. Since they were so close to us I picked up some talk about the usual high business. Now, the irritating thing was that the waiters all seemed to pay an inordinate amount of attention to their table instead of the others. Every few minutes or so some one would rush over to clear the plates, offer more water, bring dishes. They ordered later, but they got their dishes first. Several times the waiter went over to refill their glasses, but as he left, with a jug of water still clearly full, he failed to notice our empty glasses. My mother had to actually call out to him to refill our cups. And when we were done, our table remained littered with the used serviettes while the other table was swiped clean of them, made pristine long before they left. We left our table in the same condition it was after we were done eating.

I simply don't understand the colonialist attitudes some of our service people still carry. Surely 40 years of continued growth and independence, not to mention a world war, would have smashed those inferiority complexes? But no, it would seem. But I'll give them the benfit of the doubt. Maybe they just happened to overlook us, which seems rather unlikely given that we were literally seated next to that table.

Anyway, that aside, I've been having a great time walking around these two days. I think I've done more walking than shopping. But it's needed exercise I guess, haha. I received this letter today saying I've gotten a good progress award in my studies and therefore am eligible for a cash voucher. Well, at least that makes up for the whole Edusave bursary scheme, which I receive now and then, but am never eligible for. More cash to help fill up my account! haha. Thanks be to God for seeing me through my studies this year.

I'll be away from tomorrow till Monday because of my youth camp. I'm not really looking forward to it. I've never really liked camps. They are so much of a hassle. Living away from the urban environment for a few days, indulging (or shall I say wallowing) in silly games that inevitably involve mud and dirt and water. I'd be fine really, if they just concentrated on the spiritual aspect of the camp and left the rest undone. But I suppose being away from your comfort zone and being pushed to do things you don't normally do kind of forces you to depend on God more. Maybe that's what I need, haha.


Musa: I've always liked the idea of being able to yak those kind of stiff on a train or bus, haha. The narcissistic side of me coming out.

Vicks: Well, in the context of the current festive season your outfit was very appropriate. As for the concert one, well, it might have required a few tweaks, but I shall abstain from the details.

Benita: Bye! Have fun on your trip. You, know, I think you were right that day. Naseem was indeed slightly jealous of you... hahahaha

Naseem: Happy? Happy?? yeah yeah.... And I wasn't bitching about you, I was jacking you. There's a difference. But see you around soon!

Quek: I never said I had fun spending. I said I liked shopping. hahaha...

Fill me up

Today we went out to treat Vicks. It's her birthday tomorrow, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKS! Nice outfit today! The best I've seen from you so far. Very memorable. Musa, you MUST send me the pics we took today. For everyone's information Vicks appeared today in a red and white top (red shirt, white long sleeves), wearing a Santa Hat. Dai Wei was the first one to spot her. We were looking around for her and then suddenly he saw her standing at with her back to the MRT signboard. So we hurried behind the board to hide, and then she turned this way, so we hurried to the other side, and then she turned back, so we hurried back. Then we crept up and surprised her. End of story.

Haha, but no, we had lunch later at swensen's. And we got her this book. Books as gifts. The darndest things in the world. I can't even believe I'm saying this! But I guess all gifts are darned things when you're looking for the right one.

And now, I'm feeling the sting of spending so much so recently. Musa found this wallet in the Wallet Shop that says on its front "Fill me up". I think its very appropriate for Musa. And I think for me too. I mean, I'm not really broke, but I don't like the sinking feeling of watching the money in my bank account go down. And it's going down quite fast. I like to imagine what I could do with big money. Invest in shares, place some in fixed deposit, buy property and rent it out, and then sit back and enjoy the dividends. Then I can really do what I once joked about: sitting in bus or MRT yakking away into my phone, "Ah yes, Sam, I want you to sell all 50 000 of my shares in so-and-so company. Buy up a 100 000 in this-and-that. Yes, sell. What? Their rates just went down? Hmm, okay nevermind, just sell the rest and we'll wait and see." or something along those lines. Such silly imaginings.

It's interesting to see how different a picture of yesterday Beni has painted. She says it's a heavenly experience, I say it was tortuous. And I thought you were the one who didn't want to walk around so much. But you did raise a good point about fiction. I think it's been too long since I've invested in a good fiction book. I've been reading a lot of CS Lewis and other non-fiction, think-deep, kind of books. Those are good, and Lewis is as usual fantastic. But there's always something special about delving into a good, captivating story that can transport me to another time or place. Like LOTR, or Artemis Fowl, or Narnia. I see a trend in the fiction books I like. I like mainly fantasy novels, like the ones above. But much of the fantasy genre is crap, so I read the classics. I also like Michael Crichton. Basically my books must have a certain amount of fantasy in them, not necessarily the magical kind. Sci-fi elements are perfectly acceptable too. But there must always be a balance. Plot is absolutely critical to the story. Too much of the other-worldly elements and you end up with garbage. When I do read general fiction the plots, although based on the real world, must be slightly removed from reality. For example the Life of Pi. Perhaps my genre could be described as the surreal.

And, beni, you don't CON me into ALMOST buying a book. If I do so, it's out of the exceeding benevolence of my heart, ha. And you probably will get another anyway... I don't like my presents to be un-liked.

The Art of Giving

My tagboard has become a discussion board for Vicks, Liz and Musa about the strengths and weaknesses of Abigail Sin and Clare Yeo. For starters I've never even heard of Clare Yeo. Ok, so sue me, I'm musically illiterate, or just out of touch with the local, and global, music scene. But I've never really given much thought to music in any case.

The Art of Giving is a skill, or virtue, that needs much refining within me. There are two kinds of giving, I believe. The first is the giving of one's time, skill, possessions. The intangibles, I would say. In this I lack discipline, or the genorisity, to give; whether it be to the needy or just someone who needs help.

The second kind of giving is the one that is troubling me now. It is the giving of material goods, or in other words, presents. I never knew that shopping for books, which has traditionally been a joyous practice for me, could become so tortuous. I have found the perfect person to give books to, for she seems to enjoy a great many kind of books. Perhaps her taste is as erratic as mine, but there remain severe differences. For example, chick lit. The problem arises when I attempt to shop in a genre that I usually avoid diligently. Then many things happen. What a silly convoluted path I've taken today. At least now I have a better understanding of the type of books you want. If it so happens to please me, and my wallet, I may just end up getting one of those from your wish list. Just don't borrow them from the library yet. :)

Shopping for gifts is a truly tiring and irritating experience. At this rate, I should just start doling out gift vouchers for everything under the sun. Saves me a whole lot of trouble.

I visited Naseem today at her workplace. She looked soo traditional and conservative. But the minute she opened her mouth, bam! impression's gone. She's still demanding her silly chocolate mud cake, among other things. Now the list has increased to Christmas gifts, which she's not getting because I'm trying to make my gift list as short as possible to avoid further hassle, and invitations to various outings, which she's also not going to get because of a simple reason: You're working, live with it. hahahah. She even insulted me by saying everyone visits her at work except the people she wants to see. Fine! But this was the best part. She thought chick lit was a short form for Chicken Little.

You know what, I kinda miss chocolate mud cake and Earl Grey tea *hint hint*.

Goodbye

Some events demand a blog post. Today, of all days, was such a day. Our last church service at Malan Road. The last time I will set foot inside that compound, the last time I will stroll through the plaza, sit in the caf (it was the last time I will see it so packed), stand in the hall, sing in the sanctuary. Everything that has a beginning, has an end. (Of all the movies to quote from...)

My brother was confirmed today in the school hall by the Bishop of Singapore. It was the last confirmation at Malan Road as well as the last service. Ironically, it was the first time I sat in the second level of the school hall.

Today it was brought home to me the significance of the site at Malan Road. My parents got married there, in the church sanctuary on the hill. While I was still in her womb my mother brought me there. I grew up there, played there, worshipped there, got baptised there, got confirmed there, and now, more recently, studied there. I have spent all 17 years of my life on the SAJC campus at Malan Road. The site has more meaning to me than just being an extension of my connection to the St. Andrew's family. I practically lived there.

And now, with a final wave, the last prayers have been said, the last hymns sung, the last photos taken. We bid farewell to Malan Road. The sanctuary has been deconsecrated, the altar stripped. I look forward to our move into SAV. The campus will no doubt be much flatter. The hill rises beyond the river now.

17 years... I can only look back and say, great is Thy faithfulness.



***

Liz: I hardly think MG girl necessarily equates good... But, of course, Abigail Sin is good.

Larissa: You would be gushing too if you'd seen him. And my male classmate was gushing about him too. We wanted to like abduct him and bring him home, haha.

ChildAid

I attended the ChildAid concert last night with Vicks, Musa, Jeremy and Dai Wei. One of the performers was this eight-year-old harpist who was absolutely adorable. He was short and pudgy abd walked around with an effeminate sway of his hands and legs. He was even shorter than his harp lah, for goodness sake. But he was sooo cute. You should have seen the look on his face as he caressed his harp. It was sheer bliss, like the harp was the dearest thing in the world to him. Then afterwards at the finale he stood on stage with the rest of the performers holding a flower in his hands. He looked so blur just standing there with the flower. Then as he walked off he waved the flower at the audience. SO CUTE! Oh my goodness I think I've gone slightly paedophilic after seeing him. Child harpists. Fantastic stuff.

The rest of the performances were good too. Several of them were marred by bad lighting. Who shines green spotlights (four of them) into the audience's face when the opera singer on stage is extolling the virtues of love and kisses??? And the lighting during the performance by 3dash1, the winners of this year's School of Rock competition, was horrendous. Just a mish mash of lights being flung all over the place. It hurt the eyes and did little to help the band, whose songs we could barely hear... I never likes rock anyway...

Abigail Sin was good. I've never seen hands move so fast on a piano before. Musa, for some reason has a problem with piano playing, which he forgot to tell me why! Oh yes, Nathan Hartono. His name made me wonder why we pronounce the President's name as Na-thun, whereas normal Nathans are pronounced as Nay-thun. haha. But he sounded quite good anyway. I think he has a growing fan club.

ugh, I still feel sleepy. I went to bed so late...

Whoopy day. I've been tagged. Incidentally, Kelly already did this whole tagging thing to me. But, oh nevermind, I'll do it again.

So, Five Random Facts about myself:
1) I'm falling ill after walking around so much yesterday. So now I have a running nose and I'm feeling sleepy...

2) I haven't started studying for my S Paper selection test, so I may be screwed.

3) I miss certain people in the class...

4) Some of my cell members find it discomfitting when I smile, because they think I have something on my mind about a comment they just made, when in actual fact I don't. When I do have a comment to make I more or less always end up saying it.

5) People have a tendency to call me by my full name. I wonder why. Is Joel too short? Or maybe it's because adding a Lian behind makes it sound so much better. I think I'll take the second option.

I can't be bothered to spread this tagging thing any further. I'm sleepy...

The end is coming

I ate at the Handle Bar today, the biker's bar across the school main gate. Our cell decided to dine there as a mark of our last dinner at the site. Tomorrow will be the last youth service in the sanctuary. Next week will be the last combined service at Malan Road. After that, we move to Potong Pasir.

Because the Youth congregation will be having our camp during the official first service at Potong Pasir, our first service there will actually be on Christmas Day. Quite appropriate I guess. And it adds a poetic touch to our move. And then three days later, the school will converge on that little town to mark its own official move. Well, I guess the end really is coming.

okay, so vicks asked me to say here why you should NOT watch Chicken Little. In the words of Tolkien (this is how he described Narnia actually, but I found it apt), the show is a hodgepodge of images, an incomplete rendering of an imagined world. I mean, it takes bits and pieces from various movies, MTV songs, and cracks jokes at itself. It's too infused with pop culture. You have a Disney movie actually filled with cheesy pop songs. The lyrics are seriously gross. There's one line from one song going, "You hurt me, I hurt you, we both hurt too easily." ........................

Unoriginal and bad script, lousy acting (yes, even cartoon characters can act badly), lame humour, Chicken Little is proof that Disney has fallen flat on its face. It has bastardised moments from Finding Nemo, War of the Worlds, and basically is a tired tale of a father and son trying to connect. Save your money and time. Watch something else. Period.

Vicks: Well, I think I've heard alot about your CIP camp... Good stuff nonetheless. I'm sure Dai Wei and Jeremy can tell me more when we meet, haha. And oh yeah, there are plenty of fine councillors out there. Not everyone is weird. I mean, normal students are weird too.

Of chickens and cows

Do NOT watch Chicken Little. DO NOT. Should you wish to maintain the illusion that Disney will forever remain the premier production house of delightful, magical children's animated movies, do not spoil that image by watching this show. Just hark back to the good old days and dwell in those happy memories of the Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, etc...

As for me, I have abandoned that illusion. 'Twas beauty that killed the beast, truly. Long live Pixar!

I need a good show now... Where is Narnia when you need it? Kong! Oh, mighty Kong that dwelleth in the upperemost realms of New York, save this pathetic year at the movies....

Borders has this fantastic promotion now that makes me want to rush out and buy books. If I buy the Narnia box-set edition does that count as one book or seven? How many should I buy? Three, four, or five? For whom should I buy them? It's so difficult getting gifts for people. So subjective. And books don't really make good gifts because of their subjectivity. Of course, I still maintain that books are more worthwhile gifts compared to other gifts, depending on the book. I should probably create my Christmas gift list soon. And yes, this time the gift list is for other people, not myself...

Familiarity breeds contempt, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Such paradoxes of life, I wonder why. I begin to miss the usual gang in class. Beni, where are you? Come back quickly!

at least u're safe. at least i knw u're who u are, u ARE what u seem, i don't have to second guess anything. what comfort it is to have friends like that.

I wish my life wasn't so compartmentalized. I wish I could just let Him permeate every moment of my existence with His love...


Oh, yes, cows. I think I've more or less settled on the model of Braun Buffel wallet that I want. Now all that remains is my parents' will to fork out the cash. Took me a loong time to decide. In fact, I think I still have a few doubts here and there... hmm... That bull is so tempting...

I think I'll spend some time replying to the tags first.

Vicks: I don't see how going to Sentosa without you people makes me a traitor. I think the island is big enough for several groups of friends. Well, if you can, organise one proper outing soon lah! I bumped into Jeremy today, and he was asking me where to go. Are we still going ice-skating?

Oh yeah, about me being a casanova, I hope you do realise that you're one of the girls linked to me ......... (you still remember the time when I said you'd be the last girl on earth I'd want to be linked to, and then I realised that there were plenty other ppl I'd rather NOT be linked to and then took back my words? haha)

Kevin: Well, I heard you did well anyway. Arts is rather slack too.

Quek: Poh Chong? Where did you see him?? Hmm, I wonder if he'll ever, umm.... mature. Anyway, the reviews for Chicken Little seem rather bad. I think we should catch something else. Sigh, when will King Kong come out?

Benita: Can we not do work everytime we meet? I'm finding the Bugis area rather boring.... Let's go shopping! hahaha...

***

Well, like I said above, I bumped into Jeremy today. He was wearing his dorky specs again! And his younger brother, who happens to be about a head taller than Jeremy, was with him. Oh, but don't worry, Jeremy, he doesn't seem to have your amazing bed-moss like hair.

I really wonder whether I over-analyse too much. I wonder whether the things I worry about are worth worrying for. Most of the time they aren't. And after a long period of tension and anxiety, I sometimes stop and think, what exactly am I anxious over? And I realise that a lot of times, they happen to be vague stuff not worth my time. Or at others, they happen to be small little things I extrapolate from, link back to past events, connect, cross over, piece together, and finally emerge with some overblown scenario. But sometimes, these scenarios happen to be true, and so I never know when I'll hit gold. sigh...

Maybe I really do need to go away for a while. I hope my NS doesn't start too early next year. Because I would like to revisit Switzerland after the 'A's. Or perhaps lounge about in Paris (hopefully the rioters will have been appeased). Or maybe London. Maybe this time it won't seem so gloomy and bleak...

HarbourFront

Well, will wonders never cease! I just came back from a meeting with my church friends to discuss this Saturday's outing to Sentosa. We were at HarbourFront, and when leaving on the train I bumped into Min Ling and Alicia, my first-three-months classmates. Goodness, I haven't seen them for months. I think the last time I saw them was in June, when I bumped into them at Kovan. That was in another time and another place for me, the beginning of a long painful period that is past. But oh, seeing them now again was such a pleasant surprise. It brings back all those memories in SR. Slow, lazy days spent lounging about in the aquarium, or in Heartland Mall. Those are my strongest impressions of SR. Everything seemed slow and slack there. Maybe it was just the first three months period, or maybe it was the place itself. I dunno.

Well, those were more carefree times. It's really odd for me, because the first three months were like a different dimension for me. For one, I was in another school, for the first time away from my beloved environment of the Saints. (okay, maybe not that beloved...) But the more curious thing was that I was in the Science faculty, doing bio, chem, maths. HAHAHA, such a joke. I mean, what is maths to me now? Bio? Chem? Such abstract concepts... (knowing full well they are far from abstract. Lit is definitely more abstract) I have abandoned the scientific world to embrace the nuances of poetic beauty and the political machinations of a bygone era...

They seemed more worn down by cares, especially Alicia. Maybe it's only natural. It's been nearly a year, and from the little I know life hasn't exactly been smooth-sailing for her. But, oh, how people have changed! Remember Daniel Sim, Quek? Well, he's in SR, and apparently he's much more open now. He's even been linked to a girl in his class lah! hahaha...

Well, it was good, seeing them. Looking forward to our upcoming gathering. :)

As I walked around HarbourFront, and as I left it, it slowly dawned upon me that never again would I walk in it wearing my school uniform. There was this sense of nostalgia and sadness. I'll never, or hardly ever see people there anymore, walking around in that striking white-blue-tie outfit. I'll miss the place. How many times have we strolled through the centre, sat in pastamania chitchatting, or ate in the foodcourt? I'll miss sitting in Wang Jiao with Benita, eating XXL Chicken in Shi Lin with Bryan, Vicks, Dai Wei, Jeremy. Licking Hip Hop Jelly outside Cheers, tasting pizza at New York Pizza. Studying in Banquet. hai.........

Here's to a wonderful year in Potong Pasir! hahahaha.......... Come to think of it, it will be like a homecoming for me. I've spent the greater part of my life studying in Potong Pasir.

Writing can be a cathartic experience, but even that has its limits. This blog is too public for some things, and not all inner feelings can be expressed in words. But the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words.

My keyboard is acting up again, so when I hit the "1" key it performs the function of the "enter" key as well. Sigh.... I wonder when my father is going to get that new laptop. I suppose I should give thanks for the times it works normally. Sometimes people need things to go wrong to wake them up. In fact, that happens all too often doesn't it?

I've actually done constructive stuff so far. My two History essays are almost complete. I suppose this remark here would make some people hit the roof. But, oh well...

Liz: We're using Economist for starters. But there's something wrong with the brazil page. Keeps loading blank pages for me...

Vicks: oh well, I suppose the plantations would have some problems. I think I saw some article on Human Rights Watch on abusive treatment of street youths in Rio de Janeiro.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

Brazil. Why Brazil? The MUN country listings are out, and we got Brazil. I mean, come on, I know nuts about Brazil except that it possesses the Amazon rainforest which is under threat, meaning our environment committee will have stuff to talk about there, and that it produces rather good soccer stars regularly. The last item doesn't concern me at all. What kind of human rights issues would Brazil face? Ah well, looks like I've got tons of research to do in the long run. I wonder what the Brazilian accent sounds like...

Our school is sending in two delegations this year. The second team is representing South Africa. Why are we getting all these wierd countries that appear in the news only because of soccer and apartheid? Ok, S. Africa would be interesting in terms of human rights. But Brazil...? I dunno...

It's getting so cold and rainy these days. It's been raining non-stop this morning. The weather is perfect for staying at home and sleeping. It's during times like these when I like to imagine myself snuggling up in bed with a huge comforter around me, pillows large and small piled high on the bed, and a cup of hot cocoa by the bedside. The glow of the firelight adds soft homely touches to my room, and I enjoy hearing the sound of the crackling fire. A large fur rug is stretched out across the floor before my bed. Outside, the snow is gently falling, adorning the evergreens in white. I hear the church bells toll in the distance, while the angelic voices of a choir carolling waft me to sleep. My book lies half-read on the bed.



Where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleighbells in the snow...

Ok, this whole colour scheme thing is getting out of hand. Everyone stop talking about their respective colours now! We shall all just be known by our proper names.

Thanks Musa for reminding me about the MUN. We met up last Wednesday to discuss which countries we were going to be and most of us picked Germany, so that's our first choice. But since there are other schools taking part, our choice might clash with theirs. So our second choice is Brazil (don't ask me why. I didn't vote for that. so wierd lah), and our third choice is France. I'm on the Human Rights Committee, which should be interesting, considering Germany's past. But the teachers have instructed us to move beyond WWII if we get Germany.

So, that's that for MUN so far. This week I hope to do some constructive stuff by at least starting on my History homework. And considering how they are only two essays, I should be able to finish both soon. On Saturday after cell I happened to bump into Mr Yoong who smiled and asked if I'd done his assignments. And I hadn't of course, but I'd actually planned to do one the night before. Unfortunately the computer distracted me. And he said just make sure I finish them before school starts. So there you have it. One of those wierd moments that happen when your history teacher happens to be in the same church as you. I don't want to imagine what would happen if the other History teacher was in my church too.

I looked up my dictionary last night and found out the meaning of stalls and balconies and circles and galleries. For more information, please call sistic.

My cell can't do surprise birthdays...

So, today was my cell leader's birthday, and instead of keeping it a surprise some people messaged him to say they were going to be late or won't be able to come, etc.... And my leader kindly replied things like, "Oh, ok, I think you should tell Anna and Jayce, since they're the one's planning my surprise birthday party" or "um, I don't think I'm supposed to know about this..." haha, typical Chris. He was good enough to feign tears as we "surprised" him later on....

Surprise parties. Such delightful things.

Then afterwards I went to the newly refurbished Popular HQ at Bras Basah. It now looks like some poor Borders/Kinokuniya wannabe. I read in the news they were trying to muscle into the big bookstore market, but I think their effort wasn't enough. It's still not big enough. But the decor is much better, compared to the past. I still think they should cut down on the whole assessment books section.

Then after going round and round browsing for things, little miss red lost her $5 voucher. ....
Lost, or got it stolen. It doesn't matter. I shouldn't say too much here, haha. Just let it go. And try to see what can be learnt from this incident. Just because I'm a debater doesn't mean everything I say is a nicely packaged bundle of twisted facts. So, accept it and get on with life, haha.

Oh goodness, I've never eaten so much naan in my life. We went to this Indian restaurant to treat Chris, and now my fingers still smell of naan and spices. And then there was this homemade cheese cake by Anna and Jayce, which was really strong, but good. Ugh, I felt so bloated. And then later beni sat there eating cheese cake again. ugh... oh, but I must say the blueberry cheese cake was quite nice. Maybe next time I'll buy a slice for myself and down it with iced tea. They go quite well together.

I wanna go shop. or sleep. or read.

Everytime when I finish some monumental task, like the exams, the words, "It is accomplished/finished" pop into my head. They are, of course, some of the last words Jesus said while on the cross. Today is one of those days again. That scourge, that...that...plague, that ministry intiative gone horribly wrong, is over. PW is finished. So be it.

As much as I detest the subject, I may actually miss my PW group. Of course, we'll all still be together. But I quite liked those times we just sat around chit chatting about things completely unrelated to PW with the laptop in front of us, haha. When I look back to March, it amazes how far our class has come. I remember standing around during the orientation, wondering at the wierd people around me (That impression hasn't changed much though). Well, for better or for worse, we made it this far, and from what I've seen, there are still bright spots around me.

I have to make a clarification here. I realise now that when I put up my Christmas "gift list", many people assumed I was deciding on what to get for others. That is a misconception. At the risk of sounding terribly selfish, I must say here that the gift list is meant for myself. So I will now change its name to my "wish list". And who doesn't have a wish list?

Oh yes, CIP. I forgot to blog about it. I was doing CIP with Jeremy and Vicks last Saturday. It was quite fun, walking to and fro trying to find a good spot. We eventually found one at the Capitol Building opposite St. Andrew's Cathedral. Jeremy is officially an aunty killer. He was wearing these pair of thick-rimmed black glasses that made him look like the dorkiest, cute little schoolboy ever. As though he doesn't look like a little schoolboy enough normally. Well, apparently that look went down well with the aunties.

Liz: yeah, of course Braun Buffel sounds classier. It's Braun Buffel after all... I want it! And, what's wrong with Fossil? I never knew it was a wannabe brand...

KH: Yup, I won't forget. I wonder what we should watch though. The German spoof ended its run today.

Vicks: What's with you and leather?? No, I don't LOVE cows, but they're very useful animals. We get milk, cheese, beef and leather from them. And yes, I like beef. Hey, I used to eat steak quite frequently. I haven't done so in a long time. And yes, those were cafe cartel ribs.

Quek: Exactly. I suppose some people don't appreciate good food, haha.

Happy Dilemmas

I watched "Dreamship Surprise: Periode 1" today. It was a hilarious, low-brow crassy spoof of Star Wars and Star Trek, plus a few other shows sneaked in here and there. The kind of show in the tradition of "Spaceballs" and its ilk. The kind you waste several dollars for a good laugh. And best of all, it was in German! ahahaha

I realised how good St. Louis Pork Ribs are today. One day I shall debone them myself, rib by rib....

After that I went window shopping around town for my Christmas presents. I face a dilemma. Should I get a watch or a wallet? I saw this nice Fossil watch which I quite liked today. Then I saw various Braun Buffel and Renoma wallet types. I like Renoma for its design. Its got the right leather texture that I like. Soft, not too smooth, and thick. Its quite classy too, and its cheaper. But of course it's a prestige thing to have a bull rampant upon black leather. And there's this really nice Braun Buffel design with a two-tone leather front. Too bad they don't have a model in majority burgundy. I like burgundy.

I think right now I'm leaning towards getting the wallet. Maybe I'll use my hongbao money and get the watch next year. I won't wear it to school anyway. It would be too precious. Maybe now and then, haha... I've decided to take a leather strap again over a metal strap. They look soo good. I think I'll get the wide strap one.


Tomorrow will be the MUN meeting to decide which country we're going to be, and I'm supposed to suggest something. I have no idea what. No particular country appeals to me now... Maybe we should be Jamaica then we can wear straw hats and slippers into the General Assembly and tell everyone in our thick Rastafarian accents, "Hey, chill maaan..."

It just came into my mind to formulate my Christmas gift list today while strolling around. I realised how good Braun Buffel wallets look, and how much I suddenly wanted a new one. hehe

I'm getting a sinking feeling in my heart that always marrs my holidays. That same feeling that tells me there's plenty of work to be done and I haven't done any of it. Well, to begin with there's that blasted INR. I've no idea how we're supposed to go about doing that. Then there's History, Econs, and upcoming Lit homework. On top of these there's my S Paper selection test to prepare for, and MUN research. I think I like putting these things down. It gives me a sense of perspective on what to do.

So, there was no Sentosa outing in the end. There's not much fun in five people running around on the beach. If I've said it once, I'll say it again: a class outing is simply priceless. Even getting four guys together takes up an awful lot of text messages. In the end it was Jeremy, Dai Wei, Musa and me trooping off to watch a movie, the results of which I will not reveal, in order to save whatever scraps of pride we still place in our, um, masculinity...

ANYWAY, I once told Quek that if you walked around Orchard long enough, you eventually meet almost everyone you know. And true enough, we met plenty of people we knew. Let me see, first I met Xin Nin at Lido. Dai Wei also spotted the boyfriend of his 1st three months classmate... Then we bumped into Liz and Kelly at Borders. umm, I think Musa saw several dancers. Then as we were entering Orchard Station Jill emerged dramatically from the crowds (it was more of the classic jump and scream-out-name-of-person tactic). There was even a confused moment when I recognised Shang, the RJ debater, on the escalator. Have I left out anyone? Hmm, nope, I don't think so.

ughh... My head hurts. I didn't exactly have a very pleasant night sleeping. The imagination produces wondrous effects when given room to flower. And so, I will probably end up snoring on my bed this afternoon.

I've been making some progress in my books. Which is of course good. At this rate I should be able to finish everything this hols, with space for maybe more. I should. This kind of talk was unheard of a few years ago. Usually I just blaze through books. But maybe its because the kind of books I'm reading now require more time to think.

Listening to Christmas songs now, haha... Feeling all Christmassy again... I think...Christmas is best experienced as a child, when the wonder of the season wasn't that commercialised, the joy of looking and picking through all those marvellously wrapped gifts clustered beneath that great old tree that seemed to get shorter with each passing year. In my case it literally got shorter. We replaced it with a shorter one a few years back.

I was remarking to my mother some time back that for a secular country, Singapore spends a great deal of money on what is supposed to be a religious holiday. Ha. What a joke.

Birthdays and PW.

Happy Birthday, Beni! So, the first part of my day was spent accompanying that little princess around. You cannot imagine how hard it is to find the right birthday card. Well, looks like I found it in the end, haha. Then later Vicks and I started drawing up fantastic birthday plans for a certain someone we know. If I say the name here the surprise would be gone. Ah, birthdays, such paradoxes. On the one hand they are important for being remembrances of the day we were born, on the other, mere irritances to get by, reminders that we're getting older, and that the world doesn't care. But I've never expected much on birthdays anyway. It's important to be thankful for the things you have, not what you don't, or want to have.

So we come to it at the last. Tomorrow will be the day for Oral Presentation, the make or break event of our PW grades. Our group gathered in Macs today for a final council before the battle begins. And for once, I was the last and latest, ha! Once tomorrow is over we can breathe a sigh of relief and write out our INRs and hand them in. Then this scourge will be ended. By next week. Thank God.

Meanwhile I must look into all the various things to be done this hols. So much to do, so much time to do them, but so little willpower. And the final factor often leads to "so much to do, so little time to do it". haha. When will I learn?

Now even my cell leader has gotten wind of this blogging business with the council. Will wonders never cease? And I thought church would be the last place to be invaded by outside gossip. Oh well, I guess I better clear it up with him before he gets the wrong idea. I am NOT in trouble because of blogging.
Really, I wonder what prayer walks are for if you spend half of it gossiping about others... (this last comment isn't about my cell leader, nor anyone from my church. it's about someone else. obviously.)

Revelation

I just chanced upon a simple revelation that I think I've always known. My brother was asking me if i was going to school tomorrow (tomorrow being Saturday), and I said yes. What he meant, of course, was if I was going to school for academic stuff. When i said yes I meant I was going to school, but for cell group. My church is in the school campus for the uninformed. So I told him, if you asked me on ANY day before school closed for the hols, if I was going to school the following day, the answer would always be yes. I enter the school campus seven days a week. Then I said, on Monday to Friday I go there for academic education. On Saturday and Sunday it's for spiritual education. I thought it sad that we spend more time on other things than spiritual education. Then it struck me. We spend only two or one days in church so that we may apply what we learn there in the other five days of the week. Monday to Friday, then, is putting into practice what we have been taught. Of course, one might say we are supposed to grow and learn spiritually everyday. Yes, that is true, but to me those days of growing are through practice, and perhaps through teaching here and there. But the days when we devote our time and energy entirely to "the things eternal", as CS Lewis wrote, are on the weekends. And they are few, so that we may pass through the things temporal with the grace given then.

***

So, after my PW was done in the morning I went out for lunch with Quek. We witnessed a spectacular pyrotechnics display in Manhattan Fish Market. That's the first time I've seen anyone flame prawns with a blowtorch. So Jeremy got to eat his award-winning flaming prawns. That plus fireworks, haha.

I realised, that for all my fascination with CS Lewis' works, I've never actually read the Chronicles of Narnia. How ironic, since most people encounter Lewis first through that portion of his writings. I've decided to get a copy of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" before the movie comes out. So that's another show onto my list. Add "King Kong" to the list too. Another three-hour Peter Jackson epic coming our way, haha. I miss the yearly LOTR fests.

Liz: For the love of sanity, how many times must I tell you that I am NOT vicks' husband?? I know for a fact she doesn't like you teasing her about this, and I think you know that too. So please drop it. In any case, I'm neither inviting her nor anyone else to the party. haha. But that's for now. My plans may change.

Quek: well, like I said, my plans may change. I don't think my house can fit that many people, haha. How many years has it been since I invited you and Ker Han? three?

Ok, so here I am in school, at 10.25 in the morning, waiting for my PW group to show up. Since I have nothing to do, I shall blog. But the problem is, I have nothing to blog about... Oh well, let me answer the tags...

Liz: I said, the Christmas party is for relatives only... And yes, I know that there are hundreds of MUNs across the world. In fact, from what I now, the Harvard MUN is one of the more recognised ones. In actual fact I don't think MUN counts for much on your resume.

Quek: yeah well, but i still want more books! We must meet up soon. Preferably today, since I've got nothing to do in the afternoon...

Kevin: umm, well, what's wrong with Lian clan? I'm proud of my family name, haha. Quite a rarity... I can stand it everytime people misspell my surname. And the most common misspelling of it is "Lim". Ugh.

This is bad. I've finished answering the tags and still no Musa or Vicks. :( Maybe I should be random and just rattle off my head. Let's see, on the bus just now I saw the Harry Potter trailers again and again. The show seems exciting. So I'll add that to my list of shows to watch this hols. Wait, I don't have a list. Nevermind, it can be the first one. I hope other nicer shows pop up.

OK, Vicks just called. Going off now...

Yay! I got into MUN! So now I'm officially a delegate on the school team. I see two people out of 5 I know on the team, Manit and Anjali. That's good. It's always fun to have Manit around. Have I blogged before about how whenever I see him a smile lights my face? I know that sounded really gay, but I'm serious. He really funny. You people should meet him one day. Vicks, if you think I was deadpan in the second term, wait till you get to know Manit. He's more deadpan than I ever was, and he's certainly lost none of his deadpan-ness so far.

It was while pondering on the things I have to do this holidays when I began wondering on whether I've over commited myself. I have an S Paper selection test to prepare for, and if I make it through that means a Lit S Paper on my back. Then now there's MUN. Plus the Inter House Debates we plan to run next year, and the NUS Challenge Shields. The good thing is that most of these take place only in the first 3 months of next year. But an S Paper a seriously a heavy undertaking, so I hope I made the right choice.

I added yet another book to my CS Lewis collection today, Miracles. This means I now have a backlog of three books to clear. This is quite bad, because I'm taking a mighty long time to read the first book, which is very rare of me. Of course, I know the cause of the problem. The computer. I've been hooked to the com playing games since the start of the hols. I guess I better stop. Oh well, at least I'll have PW to do tomorrow, something profitable to occupy me for the next few days. Did I just say PW was profitable? I meant profitable in purely academic terms. ugh.

My parents raised the issue today of holding a Christmas party this year. Apparently my first uncle looks forward to it, along with a substantial part of my extended family I think. I find it funny that they should think this way, because I don't (when I say I don't, I mean I don't particularly look forward to the party. Just the food). But I guess, ever since my grandmother passed away some years ago, there haven't been many events where the whole Lian clan can gather together. My family holds a Christmas gathering yearly for our relatives, mainly on my father's side. It's actually an on-off event, as in some years we hold it, some years we don't. Last year we didn't for instance. But I think because we've been doing it for so long (my mom revealed to me today they started it when I was a baby), it's become like a family tradition. A good one to keep, I would say. I always look forward to turkey and honey baked ham. This year I'm pushing for roast beef on the menu. We've learnt not to order from NTUC. Cold Storage gives much better quality, even though the prices might be higher. Maybe we should get roasted pork ribs too. :)